literally not breathing
LOLOL this is the best one i’ve heard
(via theonlyuglylifeguard)
I accidentally started playing It’s Time in two different tabs and it basically sounded like this
EDIT: for those who wanted it: Download Here
(via feyminism)
Anonymous asked: your response was so perfect. you are my favorite. tell your parents I say thank you. for you.
In hindsight, I wrote, king instead of prince. I AM NOTHING.
Anonymous asked: May I join you at your place of residence on a permanent basis?
If this is my fellow sloth, then yes. If not, gtfo creep.
Anonymous asked: i am here to tell you my story, so have a seat and listen to my portrayal of how my existence was upended. i was born and raised in western philadelphia and i spent a fair amount of time playing on the ground. i was not an unruly child; i enjoyed playing the sport of basketball in the yard of my educational institution. but one day, not more than two delinquent young men began wreaking havoc in my place of residence, therefore, we exchanged (un)pleasantries. my mother proceeded to send me away.
I called my carriage. Upon the mares approach, I noticed a burn mark - a branding that said ‘Fresh’ on it’s rear. “If I could be so bold as to point out the excessive wear on-“no”, I thought to myself, tis a petty thought - I must continue my voyage. ” Sir”, I said, “I’m looking for a town called ‘Bel Air’”. The carriage took a gander up to the seventh square- no perhaps the eighth, until I had had my fill and more. I took leave of the dastardly contraption - alls the while shouting to the driver: “You smell inappropriately foul, sir”. Luckily as I turned ‘round, I was dumbfounded upon the castle before me. “I made it”, I said to myself quietly in disbelief,” Im finally here”. It must have been but a moment or two before I took a long strut, followed by a hurry, shouting to the kinsmen,” I- I must assume the throne, as the king of ‘Bel Air’”.
- I spent too much time on this.
what do nudists do when they’re on their period
I still haven’t gotten an answer does no one know
(via allisonfuckinargent)
